Deborah and Brendan's Baby Birth Story

I went to bed just after 10pm on 10th April, not really feeling tired. It's normally Brendan who flakes out in seconds but for some reason he laid awake this night. Within a few minutes of getting myself comfortable, surrounded by cushions, I had a low cervical stretching pain which caused me to moan and focus on breathing into my pelvis. A similar thing had happened for several hours the night before and I had decided that it was obviously something I was going to have to go through for a few nights before labour finally commenced. So I wasn't surprised when it happened around ten minutes later. I started to whinge to Brendan about another night with poor sleep I didn't know he was clock-watching by now. So when I had another tightening ten minutes later and he started rubbing my back whilst telling me they had been ten minutes apart I realised he may have some intuition after all

I wasn't expecting miracles from this labour; I knew I had a well-positioned baby but having previously gone 31+ hours before our daughter was dragged out of me I didn't want to have unrealistic expectations. So I got up and took a couple of paracetamol hoping I'd at least be able to get some rest if this was going to turn into established labour later on.

I went to the toilet for the second time in half an hour and reminded myself that this is a natural instinct in labouring women and for a moment I allowed myself to think that tonight would be the night. I didn't really want it to be as Sonya had to work the next day in normal hours and I was expecting to have to call my stand-by if labour commenced. It would be such a shame, and Sonya had said she'd be really upset if she missed it

I went into the kitchen and lit some scented candles while Brendan filled the hot water bottle. I began to potter around gathering last-minute items for my hospital bag; bras, a nightdress, a sleeping bag for Morwenna whom we expected would curl up in the armchair in delivery suite for most of the labour, etc etc. But I found myself running back to the hot water bottle frequently from where I noticed the oven's clock. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen thinking that I'd need to be sure the contractions were regular before I rang Sonya. I was really surprised that they were only four minutes apart. During the previous night I'd found that they slowed down when I stood up, not that I could understand why. The pain was right around my pelvis which I couldn't fathom; I never expected to have any back pains with an anterior labour but my sit bones were arching quite a lot. I asked Brendan to ring Sonya and tell her she'd be in trouble if she hadn't told me my baby has a big head despite knowing  He spoke to her for about fifteen minutes during which time I'd taken myself down to the bathroom for a shower as I wasn't achieving anything with the bag-packing when I had to run back to the hot water bottle constantly. I had been standing upright during contractions and swinging my pelvis, mostly as a distraction. I was really surprised that leaning forward slightly increased the pain while staying bolt upright was the best position. So it was into the shower. I had suggested a bath to Brendan but HE was afraid of it slowing labour down so early on my first real sign that he didn't want a repeat performance of Morwenna's long labour

I had a few contractions in the shower but I really didn't think much was going on as at best they lasted 30 seconds, while 2 out of 3 seemed to last for just 10-15 seconds. DH got off the phone and said Sonya was coming which delighted me but I was worried about her having to work the next day! I was starting to feel that even my breathing techniques weren't helping and I began to get frustrated with Brendan who continued to be his practical self around the house (packing bags, moving the car to the front door, loading the car). I told him to sit still until Sonya arrived which he did, after opening the front door for her!

Sonya arrived at 12:12am about 1hr 15mins after the first tightening in bed. She observed me for around ten minutes in the shower before I realised the hot water was running out. I was terrified suddenly - we have solar hot water!!! The shower didn't offer me the relief the birth pool had when I laboured with Morwenna but I knew I'd feel much worse without it. I was slowly turning the cold tap down but offered my belly to Sonya who used her water-proof doppler to listen to the baby during, between and just after contractions. I never once mentioned the hospital but I did tell her I just wanted an epidural so that I could get some sleep . I don't think I had given any thought to when the right time would be to head to hospital. And now, I had only been labouring for just over and hour and the contractions hadn't changed at all in timing or intensity. But I was yawning so hard and so frequently, and I felt really light-headed all of the time even though I'd only been in the shower for around half and hour. I had to turn the water off as I LOVE my hot showers and this was not cutting it.

I ran and threw myself onto the spare mattress in a spare bedroom. We were at the opposite end of the house to a sleeping Morwenna who had set up her sofa-bed next to our bed (meaning I didn't want to use our ensuite shower or spa as it may wake her prematurely). On all fours a contraction nearly killed me, I swear, so I lay on my side and it was just as bad, then I ran to the toilet once more complaining that I hadn't stopped all night! I pushed but didn't achieve much. Sonya and Brendan came running over to me and tears started to flow as I said "I can't take much more of this". It was starting to feel a bit out-of-body. Sonya went to find a blanket to put around me and I yelled that there was something bulging inside me. I was frightened it was my bladder or something but she suggested my amniotic sac - d'oh! A contraction came but it felt like a near-bowel movement and I shouted that everything was pushing and I had no control over it. My bottom and vagina were pushing and I couldn't stop it. I said I was scared. "What are you scared of Deborah?" I said ripping my cervix or other internal damage as it was involuntary and I couldn't stop it from happening and I knew it was too early. I was only having three contractions in ten minutes and they weren't getting longer or more frequent so I felt that I couldn't be achieving much. I said I wanted an internal as I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up and needed some guidance. Brendan sat on the toilet lid and I squatted in front of him with my elbows firmly dug into his thighs while Sonya did an internal. It took a bit of fumbling with my sac hanging low into the vagina and me doing a deep squat but after around thirty seconds she said "You're fully dilated". My jaw dropped and Brendan and I both said 'no way'. I told her she is a liar and she assured me she'd never lie to me. I wasn't even smiling, I didn't believe her. It was utterly impossible after what I knew had only been a couple of hours. I was still only 4cm dilated after 26 hours of labour with Morwenna. DH said "Now what?" and Sonya replied we should either ring an ambulance or try to get to hospital ourselves (twenty minutes). 

A contraction interrupted our thoughts and Sonya said "We're going to have a baby here" as she watched the head start to crown! "We wont even make it to the car" she said and I trembled with disbelief. Poor Brendan... he'll need femur replacements within a week I asked why my contractions had almost stopped and she said they are a different kind now, a pushing contraction. Another came and I commented "This is the position I'd hoped to give birth in" - ignoring our presence in the W.C. of course I pushed through a couple of contractions, felt my waters pop and was assured that we had a head out. She asked if I wanted to touch it but I needed a firm help from Brendan and didn't dare let go of his support. The shoulders were a little stuck so I had to push hard to release them and then the body was born and she was in my arms soon after as Sonya lifted her up to me. Brendan was absolutely trembling behind me; he couldn't believe what had just happened

We slowly realised what had occurred and how we hadn't had any of the things we'd fought the hospital for - our video camera on a tripod, lots of photos, the presence of Morwenna! Ah yes, Morwenna.... I sent Sonya to wake her up and she duly brought her to us in the W.C. ! She came in with her fingers in her ears as Siân was crying hard! We talked about delivering the placenta as I collapsed down on to my bottom. I said I'd move into the bathroom which I did, sitting on a couple of old pillows. We were fast running out of old towels! It took some doing but we got the placenta out with a few large clots. The membranes of the placenta were ripped and it's shape was quite abnormal, we believe this is due to the bleeding issues behind it in the first/second trimesters. Blood loss was normal however, after a nervous Sonya had sent Brendan to her car to grab her syntometrine incase. My extended bleeding during pregnancy had increased my risk of post partum haemorrhage which was part of the reason that we'd scrapped my plans to homebirth so long ago. We decided that I'd stand up but with pins and needles Brendan had to lift me literally, and as he did this I passed out. I had previously sent him to get a sieve and a bowl to put the placenta in (planning a Lotus birth) and it seems I landed my new daughter right in her sieve with the placenta as I fell down into his arms  Sonya caught the bowl as Brendan caught me then I remember looking up at the heat lamps that had been turned on in the bathroom as I said "Now I understand what just happened". Brendan propped my feet up and I felt blood running from me. Sonya said she didn't know if I was 'in tact' or not so had a quick look and guessed a second degree tear. I clarified that that meant muscle damage too and asked if it NEEDED suturing. She advised it in this instance and Brendan insisted as soon as he got sight of it!

So Brendan went off to call an ambulance. I held my little girl and we began to nurse as Brendan and Sonya explained all that had happened and that everything was good with APGARS of 9 and 10 so there was no emergency. Siân had a twenty minute feed while those around me tried to clean up the mess on our (black, thankfully!) tiles. The ambulance arrived and the paramedics were thoroughly bemused by the events and the intact placenta . I don't know how many stitches I've scored but I feel much better than I did after a catheter, forceps delivery and superficial 3-stitch episiotomy with Morwenna. Brendan had followed me to hospital with Morwenna and Sonya but I sent the family home to bed as I planned to hang around for breakfast and a Paediatrician check (to save an argument). Little did I know I'd have a morning of squabbling with Drs about Hep B and Vit K before having to explain the placenta situation The midwives in the meantime were calling our lovely red panne velvet placenta bag her "handbag"

I've been questioned constantly about whether or not we'd planned a homebirth but it's clear to all who know me that filling our spa would've been top of my list had I intended to stay at home, along with waking Morwenna and getting the video camera out. We only got a couple of labour photos and three minutes of post-birth footage after fighting the hospital for permission!

We managed to get a bit of sleep together in hospital and showed off some fancy cloth nappies and washable maternity pads so my work was done and home I went at 3pm She's feeding like a good 'un and I'm looking forward to welcoming her into the 'big bed' ... any minute now! .....

Shows Sonya calmly dealing with an unplanned homebirth and a Lotus baby

Shows the Lotus element, with Sonya holding Siân in hospital

 

 

Lotus placenta in its bag and the umbilical cord, three days after her first birth